A Review of “The Vow”, in bullet points:
- I do not care about Channing Tatum’s face or bum, and frankly I’ve seen enough of both for one night.
- That being said, he has adorable freckles on his shoulders.
- Rachel McAdams wore terrible clothes a lot, except for when she was wearing a grown-up version of Regina George’s wardrobe.
- I didn’t hate it, but I spent the first half hour really trying to.
- In my mind I kept yelling: CHANNING! ENUNCIATE! OPEN YOUR MOUTH A LITTLE WIDER! THE WORDS WILL COME OUT CLEARER!
- First I was excited that Sam Neill was in it, but then he was a dick.
- Same with Scott Speedman.
- There was a kitty.
- I did tear up, tbh, but not nearly as much as everyone else in the theatre, according to the snifflefest.
- The funniest thing was ONE SCENE, Channing says something really sad and emotional - ALL THE WOMEN CRY - and then NEXT SCENE, Channing is shirtless, and ALL THE WOMEN GASP/SIGH/ORGASM! Bahahaha! I died!
- All in all, Channing Tatum wins the Most Improved Student Award, because he was actually endearing and likeable in this, and I was not expecting that at all!
and the most important thing you need to know about my experience watching “The Vow”, is that I was in a two-screen theatre, and we could faintly hear the bombs from “War Horse” from time to time.
I cried out for Benedict Cumberbatch every time.